Original air date: December 30, 1989
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| It's a biography of Hollywood lawyers |
Before the invention exchange, Joel is playing three card monte with the Bots. I know I'm breaking the "don't worry how he eats and breathes" rule, but where did the Bots get money? Wouldn't it just be Joel's money to begin with? Joel's invention, the "wow, she's hot" cartoon goggles is probably the lamest invention this season. Meanwhile, the Mads' screaming cotton candy is just... wrong. Its voice sounds like Pee Wee Herman.
Joel and the Bots start with Radar Men from the Moon Chapter 6: "Hills of Death". You know, I think Cody has wrecked more cars than a NASCAR race. Retik instructs Krog to explode a small nuclear bomb in a volcano in order to start an eruption. The eruption supposedly would cause torrential rains and flooding. I'm not sure why they just didn't detonate the bomb in a populated area, like New York City. Ah, the early 50's. We get our first "Krakatoa, east of Java!" riff. This chapter ends with Graber throwing a rock at Cody, causing Cody to tumble off a cliff. I'm not sure why anyone considers this a cliffhanger (asides from the cliff...). Cody can fly.
There's a slight blue tint to the Cody serial and movie. This is to help make Joel and the Bots easier to see. The seats are again black and you can tell they are now using a better bluescreen process.
The movie is The Slime People, a 1963 horror movie produced by Joseph F. Robertson, the evil genius who inflicted us with The Crawling Hand. The movie begins with Tom Gregory (Robert Hutton) flying into heavy fog over Los Angeles. Air traffic control from Santa Barbara instructs him to turn north, but apparently Tom doesn't take direction well and lands anyway.
Tom soon discovers that the airport is practically deserted, until he comes across Prof. Galbraith (Robert Burton) and his two daughters Lisa (Susan Hart...meee-ow) and Bonnie (Judee Morton...how you doin'?). They just happen to be driving by the airport in a convenient plot point. Lisa urges Tom to get into the car by saying "Please get in here" and Joel starts playing 70's funk air guitar which has to be a porn film reference. Saucy! They attempt to explain to Tom that the city has been invaded by "Slime People", creatures living in the sewers under the city. The Slime People were able to create a wall...or dome...or really think fog...around the city. Those who aren't dead have evacuated. Tom has a hard time believing this story until he begins seeing the destruction and dead bodies.
The first host segment is in spirit a follow up to last week's segment where they take Commando Cody to task for being too unrealistic. This time around they use a courtroom setting to harass Cody (by way of doll) instead of the movie.
Tom, Prof. Galbraith, and the two girls travel to Tom's TV station to find news footage of the events. As the newscaster starts speaking, we briefly see a shadow of a man in the shot. Crow turns to look towards where the man would be. I must say this is a very slow and sloppy way of providing exposition. I know even movies today do it, but that doesn't make it any less bad. After looters break into the viewing room, the gang head outside, where they run into a Slime Person (or, as they prefer to be called, Subterranean-Americans). They are helped out by a marine, Cal Johnson (William Boyce). Call soon falls for Bonnie, and they kiss during Cal's turn at the watch.
The next morning, Prof. Galbraith thinks up a plan to get through the wall (although you'd think they could just fly out since Tom was able to fly in...). Tom makes his move on Lisa (of course he does, I mean, look at her!). I've noticed people seem to hook up rather quickly in these end-of-the-world type movies. There's no time to waste, I guess.
During the second host segment, Joel and the Bots discuss why and how bad movies get made. The Bots lambast the movie for being bad, but Joel convinces them that the important thing is that the writer was able to get the movie made. Crow must really take this to heart, because we start seeing him write movie scripts and songs in later seasons. Servo gets meta when he suggests the idea of a show about a man stranded on a desert island forced to watch bad tv shows. Joel doesn't think it would work.
The gang splits up in order to get the chemicals needed to make a hole in the fog "wall" and then find where Cal believes the wall originated. They meet up with Norman Tolliver (Less Tremayne), a conspiracy theorist, writer, and general nutjob. Oddly, Less Tremayne is billed second in the movie, but doesn't show up until about half way through. Tolliver is carrying a goat, which Crow calls kitty. This is a running gag that started during the KTMA days where Crow calls every animal he sees a kitty.
Tom and Prof. Galbraith head into the fog to attempt to destroy it with chemicals. They use a rope so that Cal and pull them back out safely. However, a Slime Person steps on the rope, and Call thinks there's trouble. The whole gang follows the rope into the fog, and when they meet up with Tom and Prof. Galbraith, they all decide to head out. None of the chemicals they tried have worked. Bonnie is attacked by a Slime Person... I think. The fog is so thick in this part of the movie it's completely impossible to see what's going on. They all get out safely and drive away.
Tolliver wants to be dropped off so he can write a book (at a time like this!?!?), and they are attacked again (I think...still can't see). They all escape, packed into one car. Unfortunately, the car runs out of gas. They seek shelter in a butcher shop, but are attacked again. Once again, the fog is too thick to make out the action, but you can tell that Tolliver buys the farm.
Tom finally bothers to mention that he was close to the water when he came in for a landing. Prof. Galbraith guesses that salt will prevent the wall from becoming solid. It's too bad they are in California, if they were in the Northeast United States in the winter, they'd be able to pick up salt right off the road. Cal decides he's going to leave the butcher shop to get a car and find something for holding salt (I couldn't understand what), and Bonnie goes with him. Somehow Cal loses Bonnie, who I think got kidnapped (once again, too much fog).
For the third host segment, the Bots fill the control room with smoke, but it's still easier to see through than the fog in this movie.
Tom and Cal find Bonnie in a field. It's never explained why the Slime People captured here instead of killing her like everyone else. They find a machine they believe the Slime People are using to make the fog, but instead of destroying it, they go back to the butcher shop. Prof. Galbraith has gathered enough salt and the group of them leave again to attempt to make a hole in the fog wall. Although, if they can get through by the sea, why don't just find go to a dock, steal a boat, and leave? They attempt to get through the wall but the salt solution is barely making a dent. Tom decides to try to destroy the fog machine while Cal stays behind to protect the others. The entire group ends up in a fight with the Slime People, and Prof. Galbraith gets the bright idea to throw one of the Slime People's own spears at the fog machine, which destroys it. The fog lifts, the Slime People suffocate to death, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Joel bakes a pie for Crow during the final host segment. Gypsy eats half of the pie Joel had made earlier, cooking show style. They read a letter. And Servo must be, um, filling his load pan, because he's no where to be found.
Nothing wrong with this episode, but nothing memorable, either. The riffs are good enough, and he host segments are funny, but the movie was just so bad, not even Joel and the Bots can make it entertaining.
Favorite Riffs: "Steve, have you ever really looked at a squirrel? I mean, really, up close?", "Filmed in music-vision.", "Hi, this is the human race. We aren't in right now. Please speak clearly after the sound of the bomb.", "That's hand to fin combat.", "Don't point that goat at me, it might go off.", "Even in Tijuana.", "You better order out for more nerve.", "You will believe a marine can drive.", "Honestly, Bonnie, the slime you bring home!", "And they're not very gentle when they use a thermometer."
This episode was included in the Vol 27 DVD set, and is also available on Amazon Instant Video, YouTube, and the Digital Archive Project.
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